Massage Techniques for Lovers


ONE Of THE BEST ways of discharging stress and
staying happy and healthy is by enjoying good sex-
a fact that has been endorsed not only over recent
years by eminent Western sex therapists but,
according to ancient manuscripts, was strongly
advocated thousands of years ago by Chinese
scholars and physicians.
However, a good sex life does not happen
automatically. Once the first flush of passion
subsides, sustaining a fulfilling sexual relationship
requires the on-going attention of the two people
involved, to both their own needs and each other's.
Sex at its best is not only a whole body experience,
but a whole person experience. Body and mind are
both involved; so too are the emotional vulnerabilities 
of both people. Stress will have an effect on
all these areas, causing conscious and unconscious
tensions which will inhibit physical and emotional
relaxation between the couple.
A certain amount of stress is a natural part of life
and is essential to keep you alert, motivated, and
able to respond to stimuli. Certain emotions such as
anger, fear, excitement, and anxiety activate your
"fight or flight" responses, sending signals to the
brain so that hormones such as adrenaline and
cortisol are released into the blood, increasing your
heart rate, metabolism, and blood pressure and
generally empowering you to respond physically to
a stressful situation. Unfortunately, the fast pace of
modern life does not always allow you the opportunity 
to discharge your stress; instead, you hold it
pent up within your body. Prolonged stress depletes
you of your vitality, lowers your immune system's
resistance to infection, and can cause a number
of stress related conditions such as depression,
lethargy, hypertension, ulcers, and muscular aches
and pains. It also plays havoc with your love life. If at
the end of the day you feel tense, tired or anxious,
you might perceive your loved one's sexual desire
for you as just one more unwanted demand on your
time and attention. Stress and its related effects are
some of the most common causes of impotence in
men and lack of sexual response in women.

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Kama Sutras
sex techniques
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Stand behind your partner and rest your hands
softly over each shoulder. This is a hold, which will
give her time to relax into the warmth and contact of your touch. After a stressful day, the caring, gentle
presence of your hands on her shoulders will
reassure her and help bring her attention to this area
of her body, so that she can start to unwind.
Begin with passive movements, which will help
to relax the shoulder joints and arms. Stand just in front of and facing your partner's right shoulder.
Place your left hand lightly over it and clasp her
hand in your right hand. Encourage your partner to
let the whole weight of her arm drop and to allow
you to make all the movements. Keeping her elbow flexed, extend her arm away from her body and rock it gently and rhythmically back and forth and up and down. The more confidence you display in your hands with the movement, the more she will be able to relax the weight of her arm and consequently the tightness in her shoulder. Now repeat these passive movements on the left side of her body.
Stand behind your partner and rub a little oil or
lotion into your hands, then begin to spread it with
soft, flowing movements around the mid-to-upper
back, shoulders, and upper arms. These stroking
motions will begin to warm and relax the area,
easing away stiffness from tense tissue. Let your
hands fan out, encircle, and define the rounded
shape of the shoulders, shoulder blades, and sides
of the body.
Ask your partner to lean forward into the pillow.
Place both of your hands, fingers pointing toward
her head, on each side of her spine about mid back. Steadily glide your hands up alongside her spine to give the long muscles on each side a good stretch. In a continuous movement, draw your hands out over her shoulders to the top of her arms, and then pull them firmly back down along the sides of the rib cage. Glide your hands lightly back to where you began your stroke and repeat this movement about five times without breaking the sequence.
A loose, flexible spine keeps both body and
mind feeling fit and healthy. Ease tense spots by
working your way up each side of the spine with
thumb pad pressure. Lean your body weight into
your thumbs while resting your Fingers on her back.
The secret to success with this movement is to add and release the pressure slowly and to check with your partner to make sure that the pressure feels comfortable. Move up her spine about an inch at a time, spending a few seconds on each point
Continue this thumb pressure along the
muscle across the top of her shoulders. 
Now soothe the whole area again with 
a sequence of flowing strokes.
By now, the upper back should be warm and
relaxed enough for some more invigorating work.
Begin by kneading both shoulders. Anchor the
Fingers of both hands over the shoulders and using the heels and sides of your thumbs, roll and squeeze the fleshy area upward. Keep your fingers resting over the shoulders and release the pressure in your hands to glide them lightly in a circle back into a position where they can repeat the stroke. Work this way on the shoulders until you feel the tension melting. Now squeeze and knead the flesh down the top of both arms, using one hand on each side. Follow up the kneading motions with a sequence of flowing strokes.
While you are working on the shoulders, your
hands might discover little areas of knotted tissue
which are usually quite painful. These are normally
caused by deposits of waste products trapped in
tight muscle. Some grinding movements will help to disperse them back into the body's natural
elimination system and consequently bring greater
relief to the whole area. Place your hands in the
same position as with the previous kneading stroke, but this time work in small circles with pressure from your thumb pads, working on one spot at a time all around the area between the shoulder blade and spine and at the base of the neck. Work both thumbs simultaneously, and then increase your pressure by working with one thumb on one side at a time. Help to boost the elimination of toxins and increase the blood circulation to the area by a series of firm, flowing strokes
By now, your partner's shoulders will be relaxing,
but attention must be given to her neck and head.
Ask her to lean her head forward a little to stretch her neck. Lightly clasp your fingers together, and work from the base of the neck to the edge of the skull and back by sliding the heels of your hands in a continuous upward moving rotation, giving a little squeeze to the neck muscle as your hands move inward. Be careful here not to pull your partner's hair inadvertently.
Now use your fingertips to massage thoroughly in
small circles all over your partner's scalp to release
that uncomfortable sense of pressure in the head
which results from stress. Your hands should be
slightly claw shaped to add reasonable pressure into your Fingers. Work on one area at a time so that you can feel the scalp move.
Having relaxed her shoulders and neck, give
your partner a vigorous boost with some percussion movements over her shoulders and alongside her spine. Relax your wrists and make loose fists. Pummel gently but briskly, one hand following the other, across the top of her shoulders and beside her shoulder blades, flicking the edge of your hands off the skin as soon as they make contact. Make sure that you do not strike the spine or other bony areas as this will cause discomfort.
Complete your shoulder and neck massage
with delightful, soft, feather like touches of your
fingertips to bring a tingle to the skin and stimulate
its senses. Run your fingertips in light, flowing
strokes First down the neck and across the shoulders, then down the back

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