Many women do not experience having a female orgasm until their mid-twenties, and sadly others will not in their lifetime. Besides being pleasurable, climaxing has been known to benefit women both physically and psychologically in a number of ways. Frequent orgasms in women have proven to alleviate certain kinds of stress and eases menstrual cramping. 

Listed below are the most common barriers that prevent women from having an orgasm:

Mental distraction - She may have her mind on other things and lose touch with what's going on in her body. She may concentrate too much on how long it is taking to climax. The woman may start to feel anxious if she thinks it is taking too long and loses her ability to have an orgasm.

Cultural Issues - Some cultural attitudes do not encourage women's sexual pleasure. Women may feel guilty and feel morally questionable during intimacy denying themselves of natural pleasure. 

Sexual Abuse - Women that have been sexually abused often have a great deal of difficulty in allowing themselves to trust their lover and relax enough to achieve female orgasm. This type of problem usually requires counselling.

Body Image - For some women it is as simple as worry about how they look in front of their partner. Cellulite, protruding abdomen, weight issues and cleanliness are real issues women are aware of during intimate encounters that may cause them to tense up. 

The Importance of Sex - Or lack of it could have a significant impact not only on a woman's ability to achieve an orgam, but on the relationshp itself.

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A female orgasm is defined as the peak of sexual arousal that can send a woman's whole body in a series of involuntary, pleasurable muscular contractions. A woman's heart rate and blood pressure increases while her breathing quickens as the release of endorphins into her blood stream can cause her to feel flushed, giddy, warm or sleepy. 

Endorphins are chemicals released during orgasm, into one's spinal fluid that produce calming, pleasurable feelings. They are also known to help control the body's response to stress, determining one's mood. 

Positions
Although there are many areas for sexual arousal, the clitoris is responsible for sexual climaxing. All orgasms are really extensions of sensation from this area. Penetration is not usually enough for a woman to have an orgasm. The clitoris is not always stimulated sufficiently in the conventional sexual positions, so couples need to utilize more creative positions to better help a woman obtain an orgasm. Lovemaking involves knowing what each partner needs to be satisfied. If there is no honesty by both partners the trust and intimate connection will usually begin to fade.

Fantasies
Some women achieve orgasm through sexual fantasies. While the stimulation is psychological the orgasm manifests itself physically. Letting go and allowing oneself to fantasize and really block out any distractions can help those who find it difficult to experience an orgasm.

Mood
Setting the mood is a great way for a woman to really relax and enjoy being pleasured. Candles and slow romantic music may sound like a cliché, but it can really create a more enticing atmosphere that can result in achieving the type of intimacy needed for many women.

A female orgasm is different with every woman. There is not a set of rules to follow when it comes to pleasing a woman. What feels good to one woman may not appeal to another. Sexual intimacy happens when the lovemaking is pleasing to both partners creating a harmony and closeness and a sense of trust between two people.
 

Women who have mastered the art of achieving one orgasm can now aim at achieving two!

The multiple orgasm is not a myth. Just as all women have the ability to experience one orgasm, they also have the ability to experience many.

There are two types of multiple orgasms:

1. Sequential Multiples

A series of climaxes that come close together (2-10 minutes apart) 
There is an interruption in arousal before the first and second orgasm 
Common scenario for this type is oral sex climax followed by climax in intercourse 
2. Serial Multiples

Orgasms come one after the other (separated by seconds without interruption in arousal) 
Occurs during intercourse when all the right spots are being stimulated (i.e. clitoris, G-Spot)
A woman’s ability to have multiple orgasms depends on many factors that she and her partner can work on together:

• Comfort Level: A woman will not orgasm once, let alone twice, if she is not comfortable with her partner and/or her surroundings. Creating a romantic atmosphere and kissing and cuddling can help. It is always important for a partner to address his wife’s or girlfriend’s needs before any hope of multiple orgasm can be realized.

• Energy Level: If a woman is too stressed or fatigued she will not invest the energy in achieving orgasm. She and her partner may try to lower stress levels by setting a romantic mood. For instance, bubble baths and massages are always good stress relievers.

• Sexual Technique: Certain positions are considered to be more helpful than others are when it comes to achieving one orgasm or multiple orgasms. Recommended techniques include the missionary position, woman on top positions, and rear-entry positions. A couple can experiment with these different positions to see which works best.

• Body Awareness: In order for any woman to achieve an orgasm she must be fully aware of her own body. While her partner can help her with foreplay and positioning, the woman alone is responsible for her orgasmic response. Masturbation is a good way of gaining bodily awareness. This technique allows a woman to become acquainted with her own body and to learn its particular responses to certain types of stimulation. Informing her partner of what she best responds to will help in achieving orgasm.

This shows the location of the G-spot. 

To find the G-spot, insert a finger into the vagina and move it up the upper wall of the vagina as the woman lies on her back with her legs apart. There is an area of tissue about one or two inches inside on the upper wall of the vagina that feels noticeably different to the rest of the wall of the vagina. When a woman is sexually aroused, it swells and becomes smooth and soft. When her arousal drops, it becomes harder and feels more ridged. For a G-spot orgasm to occur, generally the G-spot will have to be smooth, relaxed and engorged.

G-spot and Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality, (by Alice Ladas, and others) the authors state that as early as 1944, German obstetrician and gynecologist Ernst Grafenberg (GrafenberG-spot - G-spot - get it?) described a zone of erogenous feeling that was located along the sub urethral surface of the anterior vaginal wall. Grafenberg also concluded that an erotic zone could always be demonstrated on the anterior wall of the vagina along the course of the urethra, which seems to be surrounded by erectile tissue like the corpora cavernosa of the penis. In the course of sexual stimulation, the female urethra begins to enlarge and can be easily felt. It swells out greatly at the end of orgasm. The most stimulating part is located at the posterior urethra, where it arises from the neck of the bladder. 

G-spot simulation sometimes produces an initial feeling of a need to urinate, which may last up to a minute. This is because the G-spot is so close to the bladder. And sometimes G-spot simulation can feel painful to start with. It's part of the emotional and spiritual center of a woman's sexuality, so lots of old emotional and physical hurts can resurface when you first touch it. For the unaware, the results can be surprising - tears, anger, rage, joy, laughter - but these responses are normal and natural in shedding the superficial layers of emotional garbage and reaching the more profound sexual experience that lies beneath. You may be tempted to stop the stimulation because you think you might be going to urinate. But the feeling will change to a highly sexual pleasurable feeling, and the orgasm that follows is much deeper and more profound than a clitoral orgasm. 

When we are going for a G-spot orgasm, my man inserts one or two fingers into my vagina and bends them gently up, around and behind my pubic bone. He describes my G-spot as a very soft smooth area an inch or two inside my vagina on the upper wall. If you're trying this for the first time, one useful trick is for your man to finger you while he lies alongside you with the heel of his hand over your clitoris with his fingers curved down and round to enter your vagina. If he then crooks his finger as if he were beckoning someone, your G-spot should begin to respond and you may begin to move into ecstasy. He needs to try different motions: pressing, rubbing, thrusting and all at different speeds, too, until you find what is most delectable. And you need to give him feedback about what feels best and what is getting you going most effectively. 

You'll find that if he adds clitoral stimulation, for example with his mouth or palm, you'll get a combined clitoral and vaginal orgasm. This is probably the best of all possible worlds, as it combines extended ecstatic energy flows with the intense sharp peaks of a clitoral orgasm. The intensity of this can become almost unbearable. And once you both know where your G-spot lies, you can try using his penis on it, with gentle short thrusts an inch or two into your vagina. For this to work well, he will have to be an experienced lover with a degree of self control, because as your energy rises it is likely to move him along towards orgasm quite quickly unless he has some experience of orgasm control. But he can enjoy a whole body energy flow himself if he lies on you, without thrusting much, in the missionary position with his penis inside you. 

To achieve this, imagine the energy flowing between you, out of his cock into your vagina, up through your body and then back to him through your mouths (assuming you are kissing), and then back down his body into his cock. Imagine this energy flow getting stronger and stronger as you lie together, perhaps as an intense white, blue or gold energy passing around the energy circle. This is the wave of energy that may bring you to extended orgasmic bliss. 

And what of female ejaculation, of which we hear so much these days? It's true that female ejaculation and G-spot orgasm are closely linked. And it seems as if the female fluid which can be ejaculated in the intense contractions of combined clitoral and G-spot orgasm is fluid from the paraurethral glands. This is current thinking, but wherever the fluid comes from, it is not urine. We know that much for sure. I think it's true that the first time you female ejaculate, you'll be amazed. Squirting at your man is a real role reversal! And it's just about as sexy as can be. And the intensity of the experience for the woman means it's something worth striving for. Most women say that their first ejaculation experience came from massaging their G-spot. The response varies from a light sprinkle to a huge gush. 

The paraurethral glands are analogous to the hundreds of tiny glands that constitute the male's prostate gland and are responsible for 15% to 50% of the fluid a man ejaculates. The myths that female ejaculation is the result of poor bladder control, or excess secretion which sweats from the vaginal walls and pools in the back of the vagina to squirt out during the strong muscle contractions of orgasm have been proved wrong. Researchers have established that about one woman in five ejaculates (through her urethra rather than her vagina), some of the time but not always. And it's stimulation of the G-spot which produces both her ejaculation and her deep uterine contractions.

Some researchers have claimed that a woman's response to direct stimulation of her G-spot is identical to the response of males when their prostate is stimulated. The first few seconds of stimulation produces a strong feeling of the need to urinate. This feeling changes to a distinctly sexual enjoyment. Perhaps most women when faced with this sensation hold back their sexual response to keep from wetting on their partners? This may explain why so many women don't orgasm at all during sex - they've concluded that to avoid the embarrassment of urinating during sex, they have to hold back. 

And many women who do female ejaculate don't notice it happening since it's not a powerful squirt for them (like most men's ejaculations, which are quite weak and dribbly - not at all the images seen in porn films!). 

But it's what a G-spot or vaginal orgasm feels like that's most important. I return to the feeling because in the end that's what's most important for us in our sex lives. It's an amazing fact that we don't need to understand what is happening on a spiritual level to enjoy the bliss of this experience.

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